Archive for November, 2011

For this I am truly thankful…

Wednesday, November 23rd, 2011

Have you ever taken a moment to look at what you have and be really, truly grateful for it? Some Be Gratefulpeople seem to be able to maintain a positive attitude regardless of what’s happening in their lives. They can appreciate the good times, but they can also focus and appreciate the positive aspects of their negative experiences.

Here are some really great benefits of having a thankful outlook:

  • It is one of the simpler routes to a greater sense of emotional well-being, higher overall life satisfaction, and a greater sense of happiness in life.
  • People with a higher level of gratitude tend to have stronger relationships in that they appreciate their loved ones more, which in turn helps their loved ones to appreciate them more!
  • Those with an attitude of gratitude tend to be happier, sleep better, and enjoy healthier relationships which all helps them to be healthier people.

Fortunately for those of us who do not naturally see the silver lining in life’s negative events, it is possible to learn this behavior. Whenever you notice yourself feeling negatively about a stressor in your life, remind yourself of three or four related things for which you are grateful. If you’re stressed about a project at work, think about aspects of your job that you like. You can do the same with relationship stress or financial stress.

Another great way to become more positive is by keeping a gratitude journal. At the end of each day write down the events that occurred for which you are thankful. If you had a particularly hard day, force yourself to come up with at least two good things that came out of it. It will be difficult at first, but as you continue this practice you will begin to notice that you are thinking more positively in the moment, not just reflectively at the end of the day. Your positive attitude will become more automatic, and you will soon start to reap all of the benefits of a thankful outlook!

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Benefits of a Green Burial

Thursday, November 17th, 2011

Green burials, or burials without the use of chemical preservatives and traditional heavy metal and wood caskets, are catching on in some areas as an alternative to traditional burial. In a green burial, un-embalmed remains are put directly into the ground, either shrouded in cloth or buried in natural caskets made of biodegradable materials such as cardboard, wicker, and pine. They are simple, often more affordable, and environmentally friendly.

Green Burial GroundThe practice of natural burial dates back thousands of years but has been interrupted in modern times by “technological advances” (vaults, liners, embalming, mausoleums, etc.) that mitigate the decomposition process. The current funeral practices of embalming a body have only been popular in the United States since the Civil War, when bodies needed to make it from the battlefield to their home for burial. So, in many ways, green burials are simply a return to the way things used to be done. The principle behind this practice is to follow the natural cycle of life by returning the body to the earth and embracing the philosophy of “ashes to ashes, dust to dust.”

Green burials provide a reduced environmental impact over conventional burials, as well as the benefits of land preservation and affordability. Many advocates of these eco-friendly burials argue that traditional burials are a waste of resources: each year, cemeteries bury millions of feet of wood, thousands of tons of steel, copper, and concrete, and hundreds of thousands of gallons of embalming fluids which commonly contains formaldehyde, a known carcinogen.

We are proud to be a member of the Green Burial Council and to offer respectful and dignified green burials to those who have a special concern for nature and the environment. If you’re considering a green burial but want to know more, please call us and we can discuss your options.

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National Family Stories Month

Wednesday, November 9th, 2011

November is National Family Stories Month in the United States. It’s a time to reflect on all of the wonderful stories, silly, funny, serious, or scary, that help to define your family.

Woman talking to her GrandmotherEvery family has thousands of stories to tell. Whether they are epic tales that changed people’s lives, or simple anecdotes that remind us of someone or someplace, they are all stories of things that have happened. Some people grew up hearing stories of the things that their grandparents and parents had done when they were younger. Others have families that are less enthusiastic sharers. But whether you grew up hearing the stories or not, rest assured, they are there. And they are all worthy of sharing.

Take this month as an opportunity to sit down with some of the older members of your family and ask them about their stories. You will undoubtedly learn something about them that you didn’t know before, and you can pass those stories on to other family members. Maybe you will create a newsletter to send to your relatives, or a personal blog that you can update with new stories as you hear them. Maybe you’ll even go so far as to trace your family tree.

When your loved ones pass on, their stories will help to keep their memory alive and can be a great comfort. Sharing family stories is a great way to stay connected to your relatives, and creates a tradition of sharing and storytelling that can last for generations.

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How to Write a Sympathy Card

Friday, November 4th, 2011

Sympathy CardA sympathy card is a nice way to offer support and express your condolences to people who are suffering a loss. You can send a sympathy card even if you did not know the deceased if you are close to members of that person’s family, or if you were close to the deceased but don’t have a relationship with his or her family members. The point of the card is to express to those who are grieving that you are there to help support them if they need it.

You should begin by addressing the card to a specific person. If you did not know the deceased but are close to someone in the family, address the card to the person who you are close to. If you were close to the deceased but did not know that person’s family, then you should address the card to the person’s spouse (if they had one), their oldest child, then to a sibling.

Keep your opening thoughts simple. You’re trying to deliver a message, not win a writing contest. Avoid flowery prose and get right to the point.  For example, “I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am for your loss” is short, to the point, and sincere. If you knew the deceased, write about a fond memory that you have of them. If you did not know the deceased, focus on the person who you are writing to. Let them know that you support them, and that you are thinking of them.

If you are offering help, be specific about what you can provide. “Let me know if there is anything that I can do to help” is a very nice sentiment, but is said so often that people are not likely to take you up on it for fear of imposing. Outlining exactly what you are able to offer, “Let me know if you need a break from cooking and I’ll bring you over a casserole” or “If you need some time alone I can watch your kids for an afternoon,” will make it easier for your friend to accept your help.

Conclude with a simple sentence that reiterates your support. “My thoughts are with you and your family.”

Be sure to write legibly so that your message is easy to read, and limit your card to 3 short paragraphs.

Don’t get too hung up on the details. The most important part of sending a sympathy card is to let someone know that you’re thinking of them while they are going through a difficult time. They will appreciate that you’ve taken the time to express your condolences and will likely be comforted that you thought of them during their time of grief.

Visit our grief support library for more ideas on how to comfort someone who has lost a loved one.

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